Just a little piece of God's Plan. 11/11/15

As I am sitting outside enjoying the beautiful afternoon, I am being filmed. Media Share came today and filmed me and my family. We have talked about what amazing service Media Share was during this journey. Since day one of going to the Doctor they have been such a blessing. Everything has been so easy to ask questions and get things paid. They call me on surgery follow ups. Ask how they can pray for us. I even had a sweet lady mail me a card and had the office ladies sign it to wish me a speedy recovery after my Double Mastetomy. 

Today I have been interviewed about me experience with Medi-Share, and got to share a few highlights of my journey. They took a few pictures and highlights from this blog.  I think it is pretty amazing to get to share. 

I can remember the first day I was told I had Cancer, Spencer said to me" Baby I can not wait to see how God is going to use you." Its amazing how it has worked out. I am sharing in a National level and I got to share at our community event: Fields of Faith with a few other brave souls! :) It's funny God already had this day planned. I just had to be available . Many times in our lives with our crazy hectic schedules and life happen moments I like to think we must miss out time and time again to be recipients to God's blessings in our lives. I truly believe  if we would surrender daily to Him. We would have a peaceful more meaningfully life. One that encouraged and lifted others up. Now don't get me wrong, life isn't all rainbows and lollipops. We have storms pop up in our lives to help us grow and not be stagnant. But if we would look for the good in everything what a different world we would live in. 

Well I will keep you updated when the clip will be ready and aired or put in Medi-Share's website for you to see. 

10-31-2015(Late Posting)

Today marks 1 year since my first Oncology appointment. I learned what Triple Negative Breast meant. I learned I wouldn't just take 4 or 6 rounds of chemotherapy it would be 16 rounds. 12 of them would be weekly ones and then 4 of them would be every other week. 20 long weeks! I learned I would be put in a trial study through Sarah Cannon Research Institute. I would either take a study drug or a placebo pill. For 12 weeks 2 times a day. I grew to love  some amazing nurses and I met some amazing Cancer patients and their families. We've become friends. Sometimes in life some of the hardest things you must do become such blessings. If you told me a year ago I'd be going to dinner with my Nurse and her family. I don't think I would believe you. I am so blessed I got to experience all of this. I am not the same person I was. I've grown on so many levels this past year. 

I leave us with this verse:

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16 NIV

Brandi

 

October: Susan G Koman Race for the Cure 2015

Hello, It's been a busy 2 months since I posted last. I just wanted to give you a overview of whats been going  on. Surgery went well. I am all healed up. I was able to start running. That has been nice. I got to run my first official timed race on October 24, 2015. I had a team that came and ran and some that walked. This was the Susan G Koman Race for the Cure run. We had a fun time wearing our pink and getting to see all the Survivors in their special shirts. It was such a blessing to get to run with Braxton. He skipped going to a RA campout. He said he didn't want to miss my run! That boy melted my heart when he told me that. I was surprised when we went to see the official time. I came in 3rd place in the Survivor Catagory for 30-39. I metaled my first run. 38 minutes for my 5K. Not very impressive for most runners. But for me its great. I have lots of room to improve. I can not wait to run another one. Two ladies on my team came in 1st and the other in 3rd in their age category. They were awesome 7 minute miles. I did that in High School but well 1997 was a long time ago. Haha! I guess

Just curious if anyone was been keeping up with my hair? WOW... I have an Afro now. Or so Izzy says! Its super thick, dark and Um, very curly. I might even call it kinky! I call it a Hot Mess. I've been wearing my wig a lot more lately. One reason being its been cooler out and the other reason I just can't stand my hair stage right now. I won't cut it, I am just letting it grow and its wild and untamed. Most people love it. I say thanks but I cringe at the thought they are even looking at my hair. I tend to change the subject really quick. I know this is just a phase and another step during this journey but man it really stinks the things one most go through. I never really thought about the awkward phases I would encounter. I am trying to embrace it all. Some part are harder than others.

Here are a few pictures of the HOT Mess! 

Update that never posted! Sept Post 3 week post surgery!

I can't tell you how excited I am that I reached that finish line! The last surgery.The last part of this journey. It took 10 months to complete it. 10 long scary, dreaded months. As I reflect on all that's happened All I can say is God. God Thank You! Thank you for carrying me when I could not walk this journey. So many days when I just needed you, you were Faithfully there. You were there through friends and family. I am so honored and blessed to have the wonderful people you placed in my life. I have seen the hands and feet of Jesus in the last 10 months that I pray I will be able repay each and everyone one of them. 

As I heal physically it also has mental challenges too. So many things to process. Trying to get into a "New Normal" sure doesn't feel so normal. :) 

Oh..... Let's talk beauty or the lack there of. My hair is coming in but it looks like a Hot Mess! Curly hair might be my new look. Not to mention the light color it's coming back in. I get asked often if it colored or highlighted. To the inquiring minds sorry it's not colored or frosted. 

8/12/15 Dear Cancer,

Dear Cancer, 

I have always heard of you and hated you! You cause so many loved ones to leave us. You aren't prejudice. Young, Old, Rich or Poor you come in and invade our body. Some it happens with no warning until it's too late! I can't believe as I type this I can even think this way but I do! You picked me and I am glad you did. You've made me into such a different person. One that I have become to love. My eyes don't see the world as I did. My outlook on life is so more precious. My family and friends mean even more to me than they did before! Most of all My relationship with God has grown so much more deeper than I ever thought it could. Trusting God and Depending on God on a whole new level. I trusted but not like I do now. My faith has always been strong. But now it's stronger. Through all the test, waiting for results, treatments, surgeries and recovery time I knew I to surrender to God. I knew everything I was facing was OVERWHELMING. It was like if I took every part of you in at one time I would be consumed. I might give up. I might not try. God's word promises He's with us and we must trust. But to trust we must surrender. Surrendering isn't easy. I had to do this daily. Sometimes more than once a day. As a person I am not perfect, I sin daily. So when I gave you over to God I didn't want you back! Most times when we pray we ask God to handle XYZ in our lives but they are all sticky hands we lay it down at the alter and then when we get up it all comes right back. We never surrendered it. We think we got it and you God can't handle it. 

You weren't going to be my sticky note! You were going down and stay at the feet of Jesus. So thank you Cancer you helped me. You saved me from the inside out. 

The part I want you to know Cancer is that you didn't win! I did! 

Brandi

16 weeks. Wow!

Hard to believe it been 16 weeks since that last Chemo Day! Time Flies! Well here's the latest update on the girls. They have had their final fill. These things will be coming out on August 12. Yay! These Hard Bricks will be out. It will be a quick surgery. It will be outpatient and sent home with meds. Hopefully this will be a breeze. No tubes coming out my sides and no milking the tubes. I sure hope I can bath and dress myself. That was tough having people to do that for me.

<3 

Well, I am in the Mts. this weekend enjoying a much need quiet family time. We plan to eat sweet potato pancakes at Joey's Pancake House! Then play in the river on tubes in Cherokee! Go to my favorite thrift store and General Store in Waynesville. Going to visit with my Aunt and cousin too! Hopefully have a visit from my Aimee and her kiddos. Sing songs around the ol' campfire. Soak in those last few summer days before my next surgery and kids go back to school! I will snap a pic and post for you a few highlights from our trip next week! 

Love Ya! Be a light in this dark and broken world! 

Brandi

I leave us with this: 

 “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

Romans 10:9-10 NIV

http://bible.com/111/rom.10.9-10.niv

13 Weeks Post Chemo

Hello! Hope you've been loving summer as much as I have! It's so great to spend time with my family and not be on a crazy schedule! We have been doing VBS, went with Spence to Panama City for work and a vacation. Then continue our trip with him in Alabama for the weekend as he played in a Casino. We took a little drive on July 4 to see the battleship. Today we are on our way home to reality! 7 Full Day away from my bed has been long enough! We are somewhere in Alabama headed North on 65 and it is stop and go! So I decided to snap a pic to show my hair progress and blog a bit! 

It's might not look much different to you it its longer on the sides and I can run my fingers through my hair and see lines in it. 

Well here is the latest info on the "girls".

Went to the Doctor and they wanted me to wait a week. I told them I would be on Vacation so it would have to wait another week! July 16 I should either get a final fill or set a surgery date for a few weeks out! 

Either say it's a win win! I am ready to close this chapter. I am ready to put this in the past and focus on the future! I will never take a day for granted again! Life is too short and priceless!

Blessings to you! 

Brandi

Psalm 118:24

"this is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it".

10 Weeks Post Chemo

Here is a pic of week 10 of my hair growth! It's coming right along. :)

It's already thicker than the picture I took last week. 

I leave us with this beautiful verse:

"This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalms 118:24

Brandi 

Pretty in Pink Fashion Show

What a fun day at the Fashion Show! I wanted to post you a few pictures.

These ladies our my survivor sisters! I am so blessed to have gotten to know them and to hear their courageous stories! 

This is Sarah! She is also a TNBC survivor! She is almost 7 years Cancer Free! I love love love her hair! I hope to look as beautiful as she does when my hair grows out. 

Fancy Dresses! These ladies looked amazing. I had to snag a pic of us in these beautiful dresses! 

This was such an amazing day. Getting all dolled up was such a treat. Not only was it a day to celebrate Survivors but a great fundraiser! Thanks to all my friends that came to celebrate with me and all that requested a calander. If you still would like a calendar message me and  I will send you a link to purchase yours. 

I also have a #TeamBrandi for the Susan G. Koman race here on October 24,2015. You can donate to our team if you can't make the run! 

Brandi

12 Days diffrence

Take a look at this collage. The left side of the pic is from May 30 and the right side is from today June 11. 

That's a lot of hair growth! 

Just wanted to give you a quick update! 

Cha- Cha- Chia!  :)

<3

Brandi

2nd Fill and a message from my <3

PT started today. Hopefully I will get back to putting my arms up and over my head.  I knew it would feel tight as I was having to do it. But after my 2nd fill today, I am not feeling to well. Bummer.. I don't like feeling under the weather. I am pretty tight this time. I went ahead and took a muscle relaxer and rubbed some EO by YL:Panaway on my back. I hope it helps with the discomfort I am having. I go again next week for another fill and see my Plastic Surgeon. From there we will see how things are going. Nurse B says the "girls" look great. I will take her word. She sees way more of them then I do. 

On to other updates. My hair is still coming in and it's so soft. We can not tell the color of it yet. My scalp looks dark but when you get up close it looks so light. I was blonde when I was younger and it got darker the older I got. So maybe we should take a poll and see what everyone thinks it will be. 

Blonde VS Brown? Cast your thoughts . 

Eyelashes and brows are still coming in . Shaving legs and armpits isn't any fun! I didn't miss shaving. That was a perk from the chemo. See found a blessing in it. :)

Well, on a serious note I want to share something with you. The recovery process is still hard as the journey of chemo and fighting to rid myself of cancer. Recovery is just as tough. I still am limited on things and hurt in other ways now. But I keep my eyes focused on Jesus. I remember this too shall pass. I must endure this season like I did the last. I still need your prayers. I really feel them and was so encouraged! I pray that  I am a light for those that need to see this journey that I am on. I pray this is beneficial to all that read this blog. I pray it makes that one lady go get checked, That one lady feel her breasts for the first time and understand what to be on the look out for. The one lady entering this journey to put their trust in Jesus and hold tight to His every promise. Because there will be ups and downs! Mountains and Valleys. But our God IS faithful!

From my heart:

Spence was in the room with me as I was leaving the PT appointment and he told her that I really haven't complained during this. It made my heart so happy. Because I feel somewhat as a BIG burden right now. Really for the last 8 months. Tons and tons of Doctor appointments, 2 biopsy surgeries, 2 hospital surgeries and just being limited to taking care of him and my kiddos. As a Mom we do so much for our families. So having to step back and get help and relying on others to help out is tough. So I am a glad I wasn't such a slacker in Spencer's eyes. You know we think we are Wonder Woman or something! :) 

Have a blessed week! Smile as you pass by that person. You never know what battle they are facing! 

I leave us with this verse today:

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. (Proverbs 12:25 NLT)

Brandi

Fill'er Up

Well today was the first expander fill! It was weird watching your Breast being inflated like a tire. I must say never thought I'd type these words. Ha! The things you never think of. Anyways I am posting this pic that Spence took today. I wanted my die hard bloggers to see what  I was talking about when I describe what went down today. Or should I say up! :)

They take this tool that has a magnet on it and it finds the magnet inside my expander which is under my skin. It stands up straight when it locates it. They press the tool down on my chest and it makes a X (marks the spot). That shows them where to insert the needle. As shown in the picture above. Yes it hurt! Going in and coming out. After the needle is in they push the saline through and you see your chest grow before your eyes. They did this for both sides. 50cc is what went in each Breast. I am still lope-sided for some reason. The right side is smaller than the left. I go again next week and the nurse mentioned they could possible just put some in the right side and even it out. 

Pretty cool they can do the things they do. It blows my mind. 

I am so blessed to have great quality care here in Nashville. 

I want to leave us with this quote I found today! It's a reminder as I look at myself each one is a part of something that happened in my life and I healed from it.

 Battle wounds. 

Brandi

Hair. Hair!

That's right I am getting Hair! Which is
growing everywhere on my body. I had to shave my legs and armpits! Which feels really weird by the way. My skin feels so rough. It's been smooth as can be these last 7 months. All the tiny peach fuzz on my body is coming back. As you can see in the pic I took today(5.30.15) I am getting eyelashes and brows too! I am so excited to have my lashes back so should I say growing again. I would be SUPER stoked of they would come back so full and super long! I did get my eyebrows waxed the other day. Yep! I sure did. They are growing crazy in all the places I don't want the to grow. But at least now it's easier to pencil them in instead of drawing them on blindly. 

Well I leave us with a quote today! I so agree with this. I will never view this side of Heaven the same again!  #foreverchanged #iamaSurvivor

Brandi

Post Op Week #3 Update

This picture shows the part that was inside of me. Spencer said it was like a French Drain. The picture above you can see the little channels the fluid moved through. Pretty cool! Not so cool when they are yanked out of you at the count of 3! Man I could of slapped somebody! No Joke! 

Hallelujah! I had the last and final drain removed on Tuesday. I am no longer Octo-Girl! Think about that... I had 4 drains and 2 arms and legs! Haha! Now I feel better. No measuring and milking. The fluid level was finally down enough to take the last one out. So I still have been taking sponge baths! Sponge baths since May 4th. I need a huge scrubing! Oh and tonight is the night! I can't wait. I wish I had one of those water heaters that NEVER run out of water! I feel like I might be in there awhile! I promise I will splurge and use all the hot water tonight only. 

Today 5/28 I went and had a 1 month check up with my Oncologist. All good news! Blood counts are looking good! She said I had more RBC than I have had in almost 6 months! I have enough fighters to fight now if I got an infection. Heart was good. BP was 98/62  They said see you in 3 months. That's kinda exciting since I have been there so much in the last 6 months. I am so grateful for them though! They had a right plan of action to rid me of Cancer. I will be forever thankful for them and God's healing powers. I do believe God gives them the tools to heal us. Chemotherapy was what fixed me and with all your prayers and God's mercy! So onto chatting with you all about Reconstruction of my breasts! Sorry if this offends anyone. This is all medical mumbo-jumbo! The implants are in. They were filled slightly during surgery. I do believe 180cc. I will be going on Tuesday to have my first fill. They will do 50cc at a time here on out until I get to the desired look I am going for. I will post a pic of that  on Tuesday. It will be to show you the progression. PLEASE don't freak out . It's all for the knowledge of the aftermath of Breast cancer! I wish there was a blog for me to follow to get great tips and pics of what's to come. I sure hope this blog helps someone. I feel God has given me this to help others be brave and to show that leaning on Him instead of our own ways is best! See here is an example of what I didn't know. Most women have radical mastectomies. I had nipple sparing. The Physicians Assistant said WOW. Those look great. You got to keep your nipples. I don't normal see a lot of ladies with nipples. Let's end on that note! Let's talk Summer Time. :)

Well my kids are out of school and we aren't staying home. We have lot of fun time to make up! We are ready for the pool, the beach, river, boat rides, late nights, movies, games,trips, cook outs, and family/friends! 

Have a wonderful Summer! Take nothing for granted and find the beauty in EVERYTHING! 

YOLO :) 

I leave is with this verse:

I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. 

(Genesis 12:2 NLT)

Brandi

2 Weeks Post-Op

Hello! I hope everyone is having a great week! I just felt I need to catch you up about surgery and recovery! NO RADATION! Node was clear!! They only ended up needing to take 1 of them. That's super duper news! I am 100% pathological and clinically Cancer Free! Thank Jesus for your healing powers! 

Now for recovery:

I am better than I was a week ago! Pain has gone down. Pain pill about 6-8 hours. None needed through the night. 

My chest area has looked like a rainbow these past 2 weeks. Drains are changing to a more clear color. Which is great news. I hope this Thursday I will get 2 out. Or even all of them. The right side I still has 2 drains and the left just 1. The right side has more work done so it's healing slower. Over all the Dr's are pleased with recovery. That makes me so happy. I still have minimum movement. I say I have T-Rex arms. I can't reach very far at all or lift my arm. Being dependent on someone else to help you pull up/down your pants and bath you is frustrating. It is reminding me to "Be Still". God has shown me so many things this part of the journey from the Chemo part. 

I feel like this part of the journey is the renewing part! Pressing forward from the old to the new. The reminder that we  have to suffer sometimes to see the beauty on the other side. That through pain comes joy. Everything is not easy. But it's worth it! And with that comes a different view of the world on so many levels. That what I thought was important  in something doesn't seem that way now! Also the unknown is scary but if you keep your eyes on Jesus and surrender the issue to Him and trust Him to get you throught it. 

Oh let's talk updates! 

Hair....Its growing! Everywhere is starting to get peach fuzz! Looking at myself in the mirror I can see a faint shadow of hair  on my head. Eyebrow hairs are coming in. But go figure they are where I usually PLUCK. Really? Come on hair work with me! :) 

Have a great week! Thanks for your prayers! And please continue to pray recovery keeps on going as planned. I leave us with this verse:

O LORD, if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone! (Jeremiah 17:14 NLT)

Brandi

Surgery and Recovery Update

Well as you know surgery was May 4. Everything went fine. The lymnodes looked clear. They still sent them off for a full pathological report. Should know more about that on Wednesday(May 13). I came home and have been recovering. I've done well. Gaining strength more everyday. I try to get out and walk around daily. This surgery is pretty painful. Thank the good Lord for pain pills. I have been weaning myself from taking them about every 6 hours now, after a week since surgery. And none through the night. I have felt weird not being able to do anything for myself. It's just weird! I am little Miss Independent. So it's a struggle! 

I've had my Inlaws here last week and this week I have my Mom in town. They have done an amazing job helping us out. We are thankful for all our lovely family and friends that have been so supportive through all of this. 

Oh I told you thinks have been going well in the recover part until yesterday. I had a drain get clogged with what looked like chicken fat or part of a tendon(sorry it was gross) it was causing my drain to back up and hurt. I could not take a deep breath yesterday cause of the sharp pain. It was causing me to be very gassy. Which I had to take gas-x and sip on a coke for the carbonation to burp. It was the only way to get relief. Thankfully my super hero of a Hubby got it unclogged after milking my tube several times. I started to feel better as evening went on. I slept good last night and feel better today. I hope to get 2 tubes taken out tomorrow. It would be amazing if all 4 could come out. 

I am WARNING you I will be posting a pick of those drains. It make not be for the weak stomachs. I have taken pics of my chest but not sure how I feel about posting on the Internet. I don't want to offend anyone. But I wanted a timeline of pics for myself to reflect on. 

We'll have a blessed day and keep praying those nodes were clear so I can shout from the mountain tops CANCER FREE. If those nodes are clear that means I had a 100% Patological response. God is faithful and hears our prayers!!!

I leave us with this sweet nugget:

I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

 (Psalms 62:1-2 NLT)

Brandi

2 Weeks Post Chemo

Appointment. Appointments. I had several this week. Physical Therapy, to get a baseline to help treat me after surgery. Blood work! More blood to study  markers in my blood post chemo. Then my follow up appointment with my Oncologist. I will see her one month after my surgery. Then I start my every 3 months appointment.

Oh I forgot to mention earlier I had my MRI this week too. I got those results! Just as the ultrasound showed the MRI confirmed! The tumor got its bootie kicked by the chemo! It makes all those weeks and months totally worth it!  I really give God the Glory for it. He is the ultimate healer and He heard our prayers! I am so glad it's gone. And I get to have the surgery to remove all Breast tissue for it to never come back! I have surgery in 9 days! Eek.... I am a little nervous about being put to sleep and the pain I will be feeling afterwards! But it will be with it in the end. I will be here for my family and friends! God wasn't finished with me yet! Wow! To have that feeling knowing that God of the Universe has plans still for you is amazing. It makes you have a totally different vision of your life! Take nothing for granted and find the beauty in everyday! Let your light shine so others see Jesus in you! Be prepared to share Jesus with any and everyone that God places in your life. Tell them how God has  changed your life or share your life's story. 

Update: I can feel prickly little fuzz on my head. Still no eyebrows! Those are painted on! Eyelashes are coming in slowly and spratic. No mascara anytime soon! 

I leave us with this verses:

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. (Colossians 4:5-6 NLT)

Brandi

1 week after Chemotherapy!

It's been one week since chemo! I am so glad! I don't have to drive to Nashville today or be poked with a needle for labs than again for treatment. Instead I am in comfy clothes and tackling the laundry today. That's a wonderful day to me! The weather is gloomy but I am even enjoying it today. It's putting me in a calming mood. There might even be a possible nap in my future. 

I am posting this picture of me today and will do so hopefully every week to see the progress of the way I look and feel! I am bald as they come. My eyebrows have hung on as long as they could and well frankly they are just about all gone. I will have to let Braxton count them again for you to give you a correct amount! :)

Yes... He really likes to let me know how many I have left! He often reminds me the total or lack there of. Now let's talk eyelashes! Oh how I miss those suckers! Man I would NOT go to the mailbox without mascara back in the day! I would just like to walk to the mailbox and have lashes now! I can see a few new growth lashes right now but not sure if they will make it. 

My head well it's so smooth right now. Not much stubble on the ol' noggin. But from what I here it will soon start to look like a fuzzy little chicken. Good thing I think baby chicks are cute! Sounds like I am about to look like one! I just wonder when am I going to wake up and look in the mirror and not see a Cancer patient? That's what I long for... To wake up and feel and look like the Brandi I remember. I have to be honest the other day I just scrolled through old photos of myself thinking Oh I remember her. It would be nice to look like her again. This is just another part of the journey. So I hope you will come along and watch the transformation begin!  Also as surgery gets here I will add in the progress of that too! 

I will be a new creation. I am that caterpillar eating up and getting ready to make my chrysalis! Before to long we will see the butterfly! 

I leave us with this scripture:

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

 (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT)

Brandi 

16 rounds in the books!

First of all I want to thank Rachel for my awesome shirt and socks! Tammy for my cuffs and crown! Wonder Woman was a fun way to end my chemotherapy! Thank you Michelle for the yummy cookies! I hope you get lots of orders! Most of all thank you to my wonderful Husband that was with me every chance he could! He was my Rock and I am a blessed women! I sure will miss our Tuesday Day Dates(we made the best of every moment)! I learned He knows French! He says "we" a whole lot! Haha! 

Wow! What a journey to say the least. 12 weeks of weekly chemo. Then another 4 every other week! Not to mention 2 times we had to delay chemo and then a blood transfusion. I am so glad this part is over. With an MRI and ultrasound showing amazing results. I cannot Thank the Lord enough for His mercy and grace He's shown me. I am humbled! I pray that during this time I've been a beacon light for our Lord. I hate to complain about anything because I am reminded by others in treatment that it could be so much more worse! But I wanted to be transparent with you all on this journey. Chemo was tough! My energy levels have never been so low. I don't think I will complain about being tired ever again! Side effects were minimal compared to others. Achy bones...Well the Flu would be welcoming at times. My follow up appt is in 2 weeks. I hope my counts are up really good for surgery. I've been told 6 months to 2 years before my energy level is back to normal. I will work hard getting the right food and exercise in. Hopefully it will help the healing process. I am ready for what life has to offer. I don't think I will take a day for granted ever again! 

Surgery is in sight now! That is exciting and scary all at the same time! One step closer to being done and looking back at how far I've come but yet hitting me in the face of how much I am going to be changed. Not my old self anymore. A piece or pieces that have to be removed. 

It reminds me of the parable the vine and the branch! Does anyone remember that one? Well pruning hurts but it's what's best for the vine to flourish! So that's the mind set I have right now! This all is going to make me stronger person. My roots have defiantly grown deeper in my faith! Trusting and obeying is the only way to survive! 

I leave us with this verse:

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5 NLT)

Brandi

Wig Washing and New Do

These were some pictures I took today washing my long wig "Brandi" Izzy drew a lovely face on the styrofoam head. The next few pictures are after washing and literally towel drying. I lay the wig flat on the towel and then roll it up and squeeze the towel as I roll. I do this process a few times to get the excess water out. Then I am ready to comb out and blow dry! It takes forever to dry it! I mean as long or longer than it use to take my own hair. 30 mins is the shortest time it's taken and when I went to get it curled today I sat under the dryer to get the damp places dry before she started curling it. 

But I love the finished drying pic and the curled pic. It looks so natural a makes me feel so good having a great wig during this chemo journey. In a few weeks I hope to post some pics of my head with a fuzzy top. It should start growing back not long after this last treatment. I am wondering if it will be thick like it was or curly or somewhat curly. The color is going to be interesting too. I have had friend that their hair didn't come back their normal color! So we will have to see! 

I leave us with this verse: 

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. (Matthew 10:30 NLT)

Brandi 

Week 15 Update

It happen... I had to wait a week but I was able to get chemo on Tuesday March 24th. 15 treatments completed. That meant in my mind YAY one more left! To me this is what is pictured in my head. I am at the last turn I see the finish line in my sight. The crowd is getting excited and cheering me on! I am so close to running through that ribbon and getting my metal! As Jesus said on the cross "It is finished" I will be so glad to say those words! I know I am going to have bittersweet tears! Tears of where I came from and where I am headed! Not going to dwell on what was but what's the next step to finally Kicking Cancer's Bootie! 

I will meet with my surgeon on Good Friday! I am so hoping for "Good News". I hope they do an ultrasound and see nothing but where the cancer was! And the Doctor will tell me the details of how he will do the surgery. I hope the nipples will be able to be saved and have one less thing in the reconstruction process. 

I know he will be thrilled to know how good the tumor responded to chemotherapy. He was the one that encouraged me to do chemotherapy first and see that tumor shrink! I will update you on Friday. My last and final chemotherapy will be April 7th. Stay tuned that day. I am sure I will be posting more than once that day. Sorry I haven't posted until tonight. I had a pretty rough week. Chemo was the same ,touchy stomach,not really wanting food and trying to drink lots of fluids. The Neulasta shot of course hurt like the dickens! (What is a dickens?) :) My bones were super sensitive!! Putting on or taking off a shirt hurt. I could not even wear a seatbelt or my purse on my shoulder. It's was a rough 3 days after that shot! I know it was just doing its job with helping my RBC but oh man, it made me HURT! 

Well thank you all for following my blog! I hope it encourages you in some way! I know God uses experiences in our lives to be able to help someone else along the way! I know someone else reading this blog might face this beast too and I want them to have HOPE! To be BRAVE. And most of all remember that God is with you every step of the way! Somedays He has to carry me but others days I run with all I have to make up for the days I could not run and He had to carry me! 

I leave is with this verse:

“In the past you have encouraged many people; you have strengthened those who were weak. (Job 4:3 NLT)

Brandi

What A Week

This week has been ROUGH! Tuesday was Chemo day. Or so I though. I went in like normal got my labs,waited in the room for the Doctor and when she came in she was like "you can't treatment but that's not the bad part." I was like what is the bad part? She said "the bad part is your RBC is 6.9 and I normally put people in the hospital and give them units of blood". She asked if I have been feeling bad. I said no. Tired as usual. But I told her I had been tearing up the floors and laying new floors down at our house with my Husband. She could not believe it. She also questioned me about my fit bit. I said what it was that I had getting 7500 steps a day. She could not believe that I had been going as much as I did with my counts the was they were. So she decided NOT to put me in the hospital but to be admitted me and give me a unit of blood and then I could go home after that. I was told to come back today. I went in at 12:30 to get my labs. They stuck me 2 times and could get blood.(I made a joke saying yall just gave me blood and my body doesn't want to give you any back). So I ended up having to go into the infusion room and one of my regular nurses drew blood from my port. And then the labs came back and it was a no go! My counts were up. Which was a praise. RBC was 8.8 My neutrophil count were 200 on Tuesday and up to 600 today.  I am rescheduled for March 24 at 10:30 so please pray everything will be back to normal and I can get this 3rd treatment. 

Switching gears this week... It has been the kids SB and we were blessed to have Spencer's Mom come up. Boy we had know idea what a week we would have. We hope to take the kids to do something fun tomorrow since this week has been a roller coaster. 

The benefit for me down in Tallahassee is this weekend and my family and friends have been work so hard to make it special. I hate I won't be able to come but I will FaceTime and see how it's going!

This week has been a reminder that God is in control and I must trust Him in all things. He knows what's best for you and me! I may think I do. Someone once said To make God laugh tell him your plans! :) I need to let me poor body recover a few more days. So that's what I  will do. Here is a picture of Spence and I on our day date! 

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. (Psalm 25:1 NIV)

Brandi 

Mouth Sores

This is my off week and made it through Round 2 but not without minor side effects. Mouth sores. Ouch! My mouth is very tender. Brushing my teeth is not fun at the moment. Some soreness on the roof of my mouth and tongue. Thank goodness I have have a Perscripton mouthwash to help. 

Two more rounds. Two more rounds! 

Brandi

2 Down 2 Left!

Good Afternoon Blog Followers!

It was a go yesterday for Round #2. Yesterday I was tired. But was able to eat dinner last. That's a praise from last week. I had my appointment this morning for my Neulasta shot. So when I got there I was 3 days off from being 14 days from the last so I wasn't able to get it. Insurance is a double edge sword! Err!

But they pulled my labs from yesterday and my counts are really good so they said no need coming back again this week. So everything should be on track for Round #3. I am taking my Meds. Thanks for your prayers! Hoping for a better week. 

Update on my Tumor. It's original size was actually 3.8 cm and shrunk down to 0.7 cm. Wow that's just amazing! It shrunk 3.1 cm. It was very pleasing for the Doctor to know and see that it had shrunk as much as it did. Just a miracle from My Lord. 

I leave us with one of my favorite verses in the Bible. 

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it! 

Brandi

Chemo Eve and Another Funny

It's the eve before round 2 of my AC chemotherapy and I am a little anxious. I am not ready to feel like I did the first go around. Many days after those rough 2 days I still wasn't feeling too well. But on the bright side I will only have 2 left after tomorrow. 2 out of the 16.  Wow! I can hardly believe that. What a journey this has been. 

I have a little funny story to tell you. It's about what my innocent little Izzy asked me last night while sitting on my bed with me. She asked "Mama when you have your surgery will they give you metal boobs with skin over them?" Well I was surprised by what she said and caught Spence in the closet door way stopped and having a silent laugh. I answered her by saying "You said metal boobs! No honey...(laughing myself) they won't be giving me metal boobs. Then she said "Well, baggies filled with water in them?" We all 3 laughed again and I said "yeah something like that". One last funny. Braxton and Izzy are wondering about my wig coming off in the ocean when we go to the beach. They don't want the waves to take "Brandi" away!  Bald Head probs! :) 

OMGoodness, I love her so much! I am so glad she is asking and wondering about the next steps. I am glad she feels open and not scared like she was when we first told them about my cancer. 

I leave us with this scripture: 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

 1 Chronicles 16:34 NIV

<3

Brandi 

New Chemo/ Scan Results

Hello. It's been a tough several days since I got my new chemotherapy treatment. As most of you know I had my scans and treatment on Thursday 2/19. This past weekend was rough! I did just like the Doctor said. I was on around the clock anti-nausea meds for 3 days. I am happy to say it's been 2 days and no meds needed. My appetite has been down for sure. Nothing really sounds good. But hopefully it will get better. 

So many people told me these last treatments would be rough and they were right! But 3 more are left! Praise the Lord. March 3 and 17 are the next scheduled treatments. I know it's tough but I will be tougher! 

This picture is the 1 of the 4 AC treatments. 

I know so many of you have messaged me about my scan results. I have waited 5 days for the phone call, and today was the the day. They said it was dramatically reduced! I am so happy. All your prayers and those long weeks have shown God is faithful! I know these last treatments will finish this tumor off. 

I believe the tumor was a 3.0 cm and now is 0.7 cm. So that is Dramatically reduced like they said. 

I am overwhelmed with the news. I knew it shrunk weeks ago but now knowing how much is awesome! The first thing I said when I hung up was "Thank You Jesus!"

So lets stop and just thank Him for answering all of our prayers! He's faithful and He hears us! 

I leave us with this verse:

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12 NIV

Brandi

Ice, Ice Reschedule!

Err! 

This Winter Storm has really messed up my week, along with so many others! My scans did get rescheduled for tomorrow(Wednesday). Then rescheduled for this Thursday! Please pray that the weather gets better that the tech can come to work so I can get my scans. My Tn Oncology office was closed today. So I did not get my new treatment. Please be in prayer that they will open tomorrow so I can call and get scheduled  for this week sometime. I sure hate to miss a week and prolong this even longer. 

I have said several times that I am a impatient person. But this time I have peace about everything. I think knowing that 12 weeks are complete. Scans are rescheduled this week. And it's only 4 more treatments. So I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! 

I wanted to share with my Florida Friends/Family that my longtime friend and cousin and a few others have worked so hard setting up a benefit for me and my family. The benefit will be at Krewe De Gras. It's on Saturday March 21,2015 12-5pm.There will be no alcohol served and will be a family friendly environment. A great band, Food, Bouncy House,Silent Auction and Raffle.

There are T-Shirts for sale. I think all the kinks have been worked out. I hope to be there in person. Praying that the new chemo won't be as rough as they say it is going to be. 

I leave us with this verse:

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience. (Colossians 1:11 NIV)

Brandi 

Nose hairs.Or lack of...

Good Mid-Morning Cyber World!

I just shared a story with my friend the other day and she said Oh you NEED to blog about that. So here you go!

Monday night my family and I were eating dinner and several times I noticed man my nose keeps dripping. I grabbed a tissue and of course blotted my nose. I had a thought. Well since I really don't have much hair anywhere on my body, I bet I don't have any nose hairs! So my husband grabbed his flashlight out of his pocket and took a look(yes we were finished with dinner). Sure enough Spencer said "Wow. No you don't have any." So of course Izzy had to look up my nose and Braxton too. Then they looked up each other noses and seen all their little hairs. These are the little things that no one tells you about Chemotherapy.
 Well since I told you about the nose hairs I might as well share with you about the eyelashes! My eyelashes are on their way out now too. So I bought my first set of little fill in lashes. I used them this weekend for the first time. They looked okay and natural. So while at the photo shoot the makeup artist put a full set on me for the pictures. I really liked them. So I have decided to start wearing them daily. Monday night after I washed my face I got Spencer to try too put them on me. They are hard to put on yourself. I figured I would not have time before I had to leave for my Chemo treatment Tuesday morning. We had lots of laughs, and I never thought I would be doing this to you baby. Spencer was a pro! Or he will be before its all said and done. 

December will be 14 years married to him and He has kept his vows! For better or worse and sickness and in health! I am so blessed to have a wonderful man beside me. He holds my hand when I need him too or He acts like a 12 year old to lighten up the situation. There is really never a dull moment with that man!

I will leave us with this verse:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE!
1 Corinthians 13:13 

Week 12

Week 12 is done! That was my last weekly one! I had my sweet friend Becca take me today. Spence had a out of town date in Auburn. We went out and celebrated and had Burgers and Shakes! 

I am so relieved that the twelve are done! That was a long stretch! And it is finished! 

Praise the Lord! He got me through it! I will continue to praise Him and trust Him to get me through these last four that will last for 8 more weeks! The end of March can't get here quick enough for me! I am so impatient and I am having to slow down and tell myself "Brandi take it all in. Don't miss something God is trying to show you. Are you being intention through this?" Stop and smell those roses! Find the beauty in everything. These are all things that run through my head daily! The struggle is real. It's a daily choice to live positive, and follow the example Jesus left us in scripture. The flesh in us is sinful! The Devil attacks us at our weakness. 

So as this chapter is coming to a close. I am about to embark on the last segment of chemotherapy. I will try to slow down and embrace all that God has for me. Please continue to pray me these last weeks. They told me to prepare myself for next treatment because they are a little tougher than the others. But they have been amazed how good I have done with Taxol/Carbo, so I know everything will be fine. 

Scans are on MONDAY Feb. 16 at 9:30 so please pray the tumor will be gone or almost gone! God is in control!! 

Here is my 12th chemo pic and a pic of my dear Sweet Becca and I at lunch today. 

I leave us with this verse:

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8 NIV)

<3

Brandi

Susan G. Koman Photoshoot

Today I woke up early to head back to Nashville for my Photoshoot. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. Spence and I arrived right on time and the photographer picked out my outfits I brought. Casual and Classy! I got my makeup put on and lashes applied(I am loosing my lashes now)! I had such a fun time with the photographer. She made me not so nervous and Spencer got to make me laugh! 

I decided to go bald and not wear my wig today. I figured it would impact others better if I could show them they can still be beautiful without hair. Also having professional pics and my make up done it could not be that bad of a pic. Right ? Plus this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to capture this monumental journey in my life. 

I got some exciting news. All ladies in the calendar shoot get to be in a fashion show! The event will be in April during fashion week! Wow! Super exciting! Maybe I will learn a little about fashion! 

I will update you more in that when the event gets closer. Also will let you know how to grab yourself a calendar to help support this amazing foundation! 

I will leave you with a few snapshots 

Spencer took while we were there today.

Thanks for your support and prayers! 

Brandi