7 out of 12

Those weekly treatments can be counted on one hand now! What a blessing! Side Effects have been minimal. Praying the other 4 segment ones are the same. Heard they are tougher! Yikes,being more tired won't be fun. This feels like I am in a hibernation season of my life. Taking it slow. Not rushed. I am a lets go, what are we gonna do today kinda of girl. So this has knocked the wind out of me. Over the last week I've been stuck inside. The weather has been so gloomy and plain ol' depressing! I need sunshine! Today was sunny, but stuck inside this infusion room most of the day. Not cool. Not cool at all...

I think this post might be blah! Sorry but I want to share what's on my heart. Chemotherapy is going good. But man I am ready for it to be over. I could of took a week off today because my regular Doctor was out of town but I chose to see someone else today to keep pressing on. Waiting a week is too long(I've said it before, I am ready to be done) Feb 3 should be my last weekly treatment and no more study drug. Pray these next treatments will be so benifical to to study,and to me! Thank you in advance. Let's claim healing and protection of my heart and other organs. 

Today was long and I was ready to be done and go home. I did not feel like my bright bubbly self today. I know you all have felt that way at times. Those times I hate! I hate being sad and not myself. I know I will have those days and I need to process them and understand them just like you. All I could do was think Lord this could be worse. Toughen up Brandi it's not much longer. Look at those around you. Be the light. Just know I feel your prayers. I know you may not pray for me everyday. But you might after reading this post. Or in the morning when you see it on Facebook or check out my blog. Or when the moment pops in your head! Just know by you stopping and praying God hears you. I pray for lots of people daily. I try to pray right away for people I respond to in a comment or message. I stop right there and send those words to our creator. Prayer is a powerful thing. Don't take it lightly. 

On to other things... A lady loved my wig and called and made an appointment for Friday to get her a wig at the HPI. She loved the way mine looked so real. She said I need one that doesn't look like a helmet. :) I sure hope she gets one and makes her feel like herself again. She said "It was great meeting you and talking with you today." God had the perfect timing! I was feeling kinda down today and he used me anyways to give others hope! In return I was blessed! 

I leave us with the verse: (2 Corinthians 4:8)

 

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 

Round 6

Today was the half way point of my first segment! Six more left of going once a week! It has flown by so fast to me. I see the doctor again for my check up and double dose of chemo! Taxol and Carbo! Today was good. I showed up in my new long wig. The nurses were like OMGoodness it looks like your real hair before you cut it. They all were touching it and admiring it. Even getting this wig was a blessing. My insurance would not cover wigs. So I knew it would be an out of pocket expense. Never thought I be asking for a wig for a Christmas present.  I looked a tried on several but could not decide on one that was me. Or that made me felt like myself. I went to HPI and had a free consultation(which means these were pricey). I got excited that they could make a wig to look like my natural hair before I chopped it off. They matched and made the color match and even gave my my thick hair back. The lady was great and knowledgeable about insurance and told me to check with our Cancer policy since insurance wouldn't.  So I was reluctant to call, So I waited to call the next day trying to not get my hopes up just in case it wasn't covered and told God in my prayers I was not going to get upset or be too vain about not getting the wig. But God amazed me even with the way he worked this wig issue out. It was 100% covered. I have seen God in the smallest of my details and the biggest ones too through this journey. I know I am sensitive to His presence during this time and I am humbled and in awe of His details and plans He has for me! Praise God from all blessings flow!

I had a visitor the other day and they had so many questions about everything and I was so excited about recalling all what the Lord has done and WILL do on my behalf. It brought tears to their eyes. I prayed the Lord touched their heart and and spoke to them. In our conversation I said I felt like Peter when they were in the boat in the storm. Peter looked out on the water and saw Jesus walking on the water. Peter called out and Jesus told him to step out and walk on the water like He was. Peter had to keep his eyes on Jesus and if he took his eyes off or he would sink. I am Peter right now and I am focusing my eyes on Jesus through this "storm" I am in. I will not sink! I will press on. He says to ask and He will give you the desires of your heart. I am claiming healing and to bless others through this battle! Love ya'lol and thanks for your prayers! They are what is keeping my eyes focused. 

I leave us with this verse:

Psalm 37:4

4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Brandi

"Christmas"

Quick update on today before I get in to my post for today: Today went good. Blood work was okay I guess. They didn't mention anything to me. I claiming no news equals good news! I go back to my regular Tuesday Chemo Day next week. It will be week six. That's half way through my first segment! Praise the Lord! 

Okay now I want to get to the whole Title of this blog post is: Christmas! Christmas for most people would say it's a Holiday season in December. The Holiday after Thanksgiving. A night when Santa comes and brings good little boys or girls their special Christmas wish/wants. Or the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Would you agree? Well of course you would! All the above are correct in some people's beliefs. In the post tonight, I pray you hear my heart.  My heart has seen something so amazing and it is what I want you to stop and think about. 

Okay, let's get started. Since October my mind and emotions have been on a roller coaster. Since day one of finding out I had Breast Cancer, so many people have showed me love, compassion, kindness , goodness, faithfulness(in praying for me), encouragment, thoughtfulness and even tenderness. I have been overwhelmed in a GREAT and HUMBLING way. It has felt like "Christmas". Are you wondering what I mean? Well what I am referring to is all the ways you have showed me as I mentioned a few sentences ago. That is all the things I think of especially around the Christmas season.  We see tons of these things people are doing. We see it out in stores with Angel Trees. We see it with people collecting food for those to have a nice dinner to eat. Making sure those precious children get that shoe box filled with their basic needs/supplies and a treat that lights up their eyes. Most of our kids would just toss it aside and not see what we wanted it to be. Even that family struggling to make ends meet we dig in our pockets to make them have a special Christmas and it bring them joy. But in return it fills our hearts too that we were able to do that. That's what Christmas is to me. All the things Jesus taught us about loving others and making his presence known throughout the world. For people to recieve that special gift of salvation.  

I truly have felt the "gift" of all my friends and family and even strangers. It has been Christmas feeling. Some people have asked what I wanted for Christmas and I am so glad to say nothing. I feel like I have everything I need or want! Going through this journey has opened my eyes to a whole new perceptive of life and how fragile it is and not as much time as we think we have. I have Jesus, my healthy beauty family, and amazing family/friends. I am in great hands at the Oncologist office, I will be healed(claiming it as He tell us too)and people have help feed us, help raise funds to meet our deductible. Even tonight I received an anonymous typed letter and cashiers check that wanted to help us during this journey we are facing and I cried! It was so humbling to think someone thought of me and my family. I pray this family is blessed tenfold for their sacrifice and obedience for showing the true meaning of Christmas. I was able to be in a study which covers so much of my treatment. And having an additional Cancer policy that cover crazy things like my custom wig I had made. God has blessed me more than I could ever IMAGINE! There is so many more amazing, mind blowing things that HE has done I am saving for another post.  

As I close I want to say and ask God to bless everyone that has thought of my family during this journey. Prayerfully and Financially.  I also pray that we will be able to give back all which what was given to us and be able to help others when they face what we were given. 

I leave us with these verses:  

You know that these hands of mine have worked to supply my own needs and even the needs of those who were with me. And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” 

(Acts 20:34-35 NLT)

 

Blessed and Bald!

Yesterday was a huge step for me! I went and got my wig. I really like it. We kept it kinda long so I can get use to it. It's the perfect match to my natural hair color! Well what was my natural hair color! Spencer got to buzz the remaining hair off yesterday afternoon. Truthfully I was so scared! But Izzy held my hands. I just focused on her beautiful brown eyes and just kept saying I need to be brave for her. Brave like Queen Esther! The hair was gone and she told me I was still beautiful! That meant the world to me! For me to have my daughter see my inner beauty like Jesus does. Not what the worlds might think is beautiful. If having to go through this for her to know what true beauty is and what matters most to me. 

Last night was our Christmas party at work! I loved seeing my friends! They were so sweet and made me a beautiful canvas. Each square is a heart that my friends made and they wrote a single word that describes me. I am so humbled by their kindness! These are the things that keep me motivated to keep on trucking. I will cherish this painting forever! I have ready found the perfect place for it! 

I leave us with the reminder that beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And that friends are the best medicine. 

Verse: 

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.

 (Song of Songs 4:7 NLT)

Scalp'em

That's is what a Seminole Fan says! But tonight looking in the mirror that's what I saw! My scalp is starting to show more and more these days. 

I still have a lot to loose. But seeing my hair come out is such a visual of my Cancer on the outside! Visuals are hard to take! I also know when I see my hair falling out I know the Chemo is working! I pray and claiming the tumor is breaking down and shrinking just like the number of hairs on my head! This is the only thing I am going to let this Cancer take! 

Well... I ask you for a few prayer requests this week! First of all please pray my liver enzyme levels go back down to a normal range. And the rest of my labs look good next week! Second I need you to pray my family stays healthy. Izzy came home with a cough. I have her on essential oils and some cough medicine. Please pray it goes away. I also have a sore throat. Not good since I can't be getting sick! I am on essential oils too and Zyrtec to stop any drainage. Ugh, this is going to be a long Winter Season! 

Tonight I leave us with this verse: 

Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God. (2 Corinthians 7:1 NLT) 

Brandi

Fourth Round

My first cycle is done! This weeks chemotherapy is just like my first dose! Medical Exam looked good! Blood work was good all except my Liver enzymes are elevated some. They said it's probably the drugs. So please pray that my level looks better next week. I am writing you as I am on my last bag, Carboplatin is what's on the drip now! Should be out of here in 30 mins or so. 

Thanks for your prayer! 

I leave us with this verse:

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see! 

Brandi

Wigged Out!

Well I got one being dyed to suit me better! Thank you Rose! She is an awesome hair dresser! Message me if you want her number and a beautiful new do! I also picked one out online and can't wait until it gets here! I have an appointment and HPI in Nashville for an consult about a wig fitting and such! So pray I get "wigged" out! Haha! I made a funny! 

Oh! I have a few pics  below that will make you LOL! 

This is the 100% human hair one that's getting dyed and styled. Who looks better in it? Stay tuned for the final results! 

Subtracting -

I wanted to give an update on my week. I went looking for a wig and had no luck. Which I figured they wouldn't have many younger looking wigs. I did get a free one from the American Cancer Society it was a short wig and not a color I'd pick. But it was 100%  human hair and can be dyed and cut to hopefully match me better. I dropped it off to my hair stylist. Rose will work her magic! So she will get with me this week and hopefully have something for me by the end of the week. I have an appointment on Tuesday with the HPI to be fitted and design a wig that matches my hairstyle. So pray they won't cost an arm and a leg! I might be asking Santa for some hair! 

As I've said early this week the Lord has been busy subtracting all the hair coming out of my head. I really am surprised I am not bald yet! My Mama was rubbing my head tonight because it was hurting. When she finished I said my head felt fluffy. Well I got the brush and my hair kept coming out in the brush. I am amazed the process of this. I was reminded that the chemo is working because my hair is falling out, so I am claiming its stopping the tumor from growing too. I am claiming it to be shrinking!! I am finding the positive even in this! It's been tough and I think once I shave it off it will be freeing. That's what I've heard anyways. 

This week the my treatment is Thursday. It will be Taxol, and Carboplatin just like my first chemo treatment. This will be my 4 out of 12 treatment. All has been well! I am so thankful! I have been tired but that's to be expected. Praising the Lord for his mercy! Keep your prayers coming and I covet each one of them. 

I leave us with these verses:

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 

(James 1:2-3 NLT)

Loosing My Hair :/

Well today I woke up to lots of hair in my bed and I ran my fingers through it and I pulled out 10 or more strains at a time. I called Spencer and said it was coming out and he reminded me it was day 21. That's when we were told it would start to come out. As usually my body has perfect timing! I freaked out a few times today because my hair just kept falling out. I have already vacuumed my bathroom floor once today and had to go over it again before bed. I was in the bathroom at the sink and I told Spencer we might have to shave it sooner than I thought. Then I busted out crying. I guess I am stressed or overwhelmed by it. It's just another step closer I guess to the outside world knowing what I have. I share with you all because you are my friends and acquaintances. I don't let strangers on Facebook or my google circle from this blog.  But as I walk into my neighborhood Publix I don't want all of them to know. That's the part that gets me. I have to release that. But that's what bothers me. I don't want someone to look at me and define me by what I have. I said early in my wig post when you see a bald head you know it's cancer! 

So tonight please please please pray I find a wig. I am going to the American Cancer Society tomorrow with my friend Amanda to look for a wig. If I strike out there we will try a few other places. Thanks for your prayers! I will be needing them in the days ahead! 

I leave us with this verses:

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. (Matthew 10:30-31 NLT)

Brandi

Wig Shop!!

I

I decided since every time I run my fingers through my hair I get a few hairs that come out each time. I thought I'd better get to looking at what wig suits me! Wow... never thought I be doing this. First time for everything right? Bald is something that freaks me out. I want to be transparent with ya'll. I love my hair. It's like my crown and glory! It's me! And the thought of loosing it just ticks me off! 

When someone gets sick they can hid it for the most part. You could walk into a store and know one would really know. But with cancer not so much! You see a bald head and you just natural assume oh they have cancer. Face it we all do. I do it now. It's seems like I am aware of it more since finding out I will be loosing mine. Don't get me wrong bald is beautiful in it own way. I see these ladies and they are gorgeous. I think to myself wow... I wonder if I can pull that off. I will be finding out soon enough! I have told Spencer he better not staring at my bald head when I am asleep or I will punch him in the nose if I wake up and catch him! He's been so sweet to me through all of this. He even said he'd shave his head with me when the time comes! Sweet...but NO THANK YOU! One bald head is enough. 

Well for a good laugh I took pictures of my trip to the wig shop! Luck you! You can see I tried different styles to see what look more natural for my style I already had. I love long hair. But I tried a few colors out. I am NOT a blonde(even though I act like one sometimes). I am not a black haired lady either. I am a true brunette! But apparently my Hubby has a thing for redheads! I tried on a Auburn colored one and it was his FAVORITE! I even tried on a fun one. I have know idea who would even buy this type but I had fun with it! I made the best out of this trip! I was scary trip for me but found the blessing in it. It will give you a good laugh! Enjoy! 

I leave us with this verse: 

Sorrow may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

 (Psalms 30:5 NLT)

Segment I: Round 3 and 9 More to go!

Hello Everyone!

Today Spencer's Mom(Angela) took me to my treatment. I got there at 9:30 to get a blood draw from my Surgeon's Office for a study I am in for them. The study he is doing to see how my body reacts to Chemotherapy after treatments. Then I headed down to my Oncologists office for my treatment. I had another blood draw and it was a go for round 3. Yay 9 more left. I was excited I got my same chair. I sure hope I get my spot every time(I almost didn't, I had to wait about 5 minutes and moved to it) I call it my lucky chair. Even my sweet nurse Denise expected me to be there today when she came to clean my port she looked there. 
Today as I got my Benadryl, Steroids, my Taxol had a hole in the bag and had to stop. Which was a little scary. I was not sure what was going to happen. But the Sarah Canon Research Center had to mix and send a new bag over to my Doctor's office. It caused me to run an hour later than expected. But the cool thing was during that time #TeamMartina came and passed out Christmas stockings out to all of the cancer patients. They sang Christmas Carols and visited with each of us. They had special stockings for the Breast Cancer patients. If you are wondering like I was Team Martina is Martina McBrides charity that she does every year. I thought it was so cool she had a team come and brighten our day with those sweet stockings. I got candy, a Amy Grant christmas cd, pens and a cute pink hipster bag with a pink ribbon on it. I will post a picture of it on Facebook. 

Next week I will have a treatment on Thursday since my Doctor will be out of town next week and I will see another on call doctor. I will have Benadryl, Steroid, Taxol and Carboplatin. Plus I take my study drug 2 times daily. Then for the next 2 days after that I have to take steroid pills. This is my treatment every 4 week.  The in between weeks I take just the study drugs, Taxol.  I seem to be getting the hang of it. I am trying to make the best of it. I have been so blessed by all of this. Finding the beauty and blessings in everything makes you put things into perspective. It makes you see that things could be far worse and it not as bad as it seems. God's got this! 
While I was at my treatment today looking around I could see so many others battling for their lives. It sure makes me want to go in there and give them Hope and be a light. I met another Breast cancer lady today. Her name was Kim. It was her last day of treatment. She was so beautiful. She was a warrior. She was the total opposite of me. She was triple positive. It really amazes me how every kind of BC is so different. Every treatment is different. But we are all so supportive and open with each other. It was so neat to talk to a lady that was a first time Chemo patient today. She was a newbie and got to give her some helpful tips and encourage her. Plus she had her surgery before treatment so she shared with me.  

As I said before and will always say God is so good. He gives us everything we need and always has the best time. Thanks for your txts, and calls today. I felt them as the day went on. I will leave us with this verses:

Romans 12:2, 6-12 (NLT)

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you ,which is good and pleasing and perfect.
6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have the gift of showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically! Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

Brandi ;)