Well today I woke up to lots of hair in my bed and I ran my fingers through it and I pulled out 10 or more strains at a time. I called Spencer and said it was coming out and he reminded me it was day 21. That's when we were told it would start to come out. As usually my body has perfect timing! I freaked out a few times today because my hair just kept falling out. I have already vacuumed my bathroom floor once today and had to go over it again before bed. I was in the bathroom at the sink and I told Spencer we might have to shave it sooner than I thought. Then I busted out crying. I guess I am stressed or overwhelmed by it. It's just another step closer I guess to the outside world knowing what I have. I share with you all because you are my friends and acquaintances. I don't let strangers on Facebook or my google circle from this blog. But as I walk into my neighborhood Publix I don't want all of them to know. That's the part that gets me. I have to release that. But that's what bothers me. I don't want someone to look at me and define me by what I have. I said early in my wig post when you see a bald head you know it's cancer!
So tonight please please please pray I find a wig. I am going to the American Cancer Society tomorrow with my friend Amanda to look for a wig. If I strike out there we will try a few other places. Thanks for your prayers! I will be needing them in the days ahead!
I leave us with this verses:
And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. (Matthew 10:30-31 NLT)
Brandi
Keep one strain of your beautiful hair, put it in your journal if you have one, other than online...your hair will grow back Brandi more beautiful than ever. Try to keep calm when you see your hair is falling out and remember to thank the Lord for having meds that can cure cancer now. it wasn't possible only a few years ago. Sending love and prayers your way
ReplyDeleteThe comment you made about how people will see you bald and define you because of the cancer - so true, and I am guilty of doing that with my Hunter. So many times through his life I have either referred to him as epileptic or intellectually disabled, before I even said his name. I should introduce him as the most caring, considerate, Christian child I know! I have even given other people advice as to not look at their children or loved ones and let them see the disability or illness before they see the person. So as ALWAYS (with all your wonderful FB posts, prayers - before and after cancer diagnosis) - you have inspired me to strive harder and pray that I can do better at NOT defining my child by his health issues and disabilities! I pray for you and your family every day! You are one of the most genuine people I have ever met - don't change!!!
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